I had plans to go to the fireworks with Judy, but that kind of fell through. I wasn’t real keen on the idea of hanging around a bunch of people I didn’t really know.

Instead, I’m spending the night at home, drinking wine and doing laundry. I like to pretend that this really isn’t my life. I’m just looking at someone else’s from the outside. I like to think I’m a pretty decent guy who makes some pretty good decisions. I can’t for the life of me figure out how I fucked this one up so badly.

Almost forgot.  I’ll be at the games this weekend, too.  My oldest friend might be in town.  She and her new husband are honeymooning in Vancouver and talked about coming down that weekend for a game.  I’d extended an invitation for dinner, as a way of saying congratulations.  Apparently he isn’t very comfortable with the idea of her and I being friends and doesn’t really want to meet me.  I haven’t seen her in 6 years.  We’ve been friends for 19 years.  Just another kick in the nuts this year.

This afternoon was a bit worrisome.  I was getting frustrated working on the bike and I realized if I didn’t stop, I was going to break something.  There’s a couple reasons for that frustration, but since this is a public area, I won’t really get into it.  We’ll just leave it at the fact I was much less than happy.  I decided to take a break and go sit in the jacuzzi for a bit.  That didn’t help.  I was unbelievably restless.  I came upstairs and spent 15 minutes pacing around the apartment.  For those that have seen my place, there isn’t much room to pace.  I actually started hyperventaliting and felt that I had  to get out of the house.  I left for an hour or so and so far, I feel OK.

It’s at the point now where I hate being at home.  I hate going down to the garage and working.  My bike, which used to be great therapy, gets easier to blow off every day.  I’m seriously miserable here.

Lark came by the other day to drop off my box of things.  I was working on the bike and was caught a little off guard.  We chatted for a few minutes, but I wasn’t really in the mood to talk.  When I said so, she said that was fine and that I knew where she lived.  Wow.  That was a straight punch to the gut.  She was already walking away, so she didn’t see the look on my face.  I had to put down my tools for a little bit and try to get my act together.

I also have a couple of the memorial videos from September.  I'm not going to put them up here, but will forward them on if you like.  Just send me a request or leave me a comment about it.

EDIT:  I was having issues with WP yesterday, so I kept this short.  The tents aren't too bad.  It's a bit of a longer walk to everything and I have to live out of my bags, but I'll survive.  It rained a little last night and felt a couple drops hit me.  That may not be so good.  Here's hoping the sky doesn't open up before I head to Kuwait.

Got tickets for the Ms and the Tigers for when I get back.  Judy has kindly agreed to go with me, so that should be a good time.  It'll be nice to go to a game with a real fan, someone I can discuss the game with.  Plus, I enjoy hanging out with her.  so, I have something to look forward to about going home.

Not so much looking forward to cleaning and unpacking.  At least I'll have bike projects to distract me.

"Those aspects of society that overtly and covertly attribute value and normality to white people and whiteness, and devalue, stereotype, and label people of color as 'other,' different, less than, or render them invisible. Examples of these norms include defining white skin tones as nude or flesh colored, having a future time orientation, emphasizing individualism as opposed to a more collective ideology, defining one form of English as standard, and identifying only Whites as great writers or composers"

I'll agree with "identifying only Whites  as great writers and composers."  To me, that is racist and ignores a lot of people truely worthy of being recognized.  Same deal for "defining white skin tones as nude or flesh colored."

But I'm throwing a huge bullshit flag on  "having a future time orientation."  Planning ahead is considered a White trait and is therefore racist?  Are you fucking kidding me?!  "Emphasizing individualism as opposed to a more collective ideology" is considered racist?  So, thinking of myself before I think of someone else makes me discriminatory?  Pass me some of what you're smoking.  "Defining one form of English as standard" is racist?  So, if I don't consider Ebonics a language (which some misguided individuals seem to think it is), I should be attending Klan rallies?  Pass me my bedsheet.  There is only one form of "standard English."  Everything else is either slang or a dialect.  Standard English is what should be taught in schools, since it's what's going to allow children to succeed in the real world.

And now the state Board of Pharmacy has unanimously ruled that pharmacists do not have to fill prescriptions that conflict with their moral values (i.e., "morning after" pill, birth control, etc.).  They said this was because "the pharmacist needs to be able to practice within their conscience limits."  What?!  You were hired to push pills, not make judgement on what people should/should not be getting.  I'm pretty sure you knew what you were getting into before you started training for the job.  If I ran a place with a pharmacist who decided not to prescibe a customer something, you can bet his ass would be fired.  He's failing to fulfill the ONE task his job requires of him.

I love Washington, but hate liberals.